You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
