Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
