i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
