I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
