who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
