yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
