the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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