Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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