Swine flu. Run for my life!
i just google imaged poop.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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