I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
