is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
