Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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