The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
