New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
