You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
