Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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