You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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