I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
