he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Are we still banned from the library?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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