u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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