On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
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