I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
