Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Jerry, you need to find god
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
