RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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