I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
