i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Are we still banned from the library?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
