I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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