I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
