hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
