I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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