Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
