trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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