Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Hippo gnu deer
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
