I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
