In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
