I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize