ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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