I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
