I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
