You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
