we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
