you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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