Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
