Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
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