Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
