She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
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