i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
