Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
