Girls should come with a carfax report
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
