I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
