You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
The air was thick with penises
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
