That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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