he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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