I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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